for the sake of keeping my writing spirit alive:

i got invited to a marathon this saturday. i'm not going. i'm not yet ready.

i figured i'm in the final stretch of my weight loss journey. as i walked in the mall this afternoon, i figured there was nothing to be afraid off. i guess, for years i was afraid of losing weight as i was losing my identity, or i thought i would be taking the identity of someone else.

i learned to have patience, persistence, and courage.

it was my stubborness that got me here, the way i see it.

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i've been studying the works of francis bacon.

it was eerie. there was always a cage. that's the theme of all his works from the beginning to the end. there was always some form of cage, and encasement from which to move into or out off.

in his earlier years, there was just this cage that hides who ever is inside it. a cage that disfigures even the spirit of the subject. even if the subject is in plain view.

in the latter years, he grew more accepting. that is to say that he was more morbid. his thryptich of the crucifix is stunningly bloody and gorey amidst the veil of expressionistic forms. his self portraits shows him in motion, moving from and into the said cage.

he is a master of macabre and horror.

http://www.tate.org.uk/britain/exhibitions/francisbacon/explore.shtm

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this would make you fall in love

sebastian tellier - la ritournelle

wanna spend my life with you
So we make love on the grass under the moon
No one call tell, damned if I do
Forever journey on golden avenues
I drift in your eyes since I love you
I got that beat in my veins for only rule
Love is to share, mine is for you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qsk8QQj5Nrc